My eating disorder ‘blew up’ during lockdown and almost sent me to the hospital
“The pandemic gave me a lot more time to think, so my mind was consumed with food because it had no other occupation.”
Amy trains to become an elite gymnast. She is also studying in college to eventually enroll in a science course at university.
But for this 17-year-old, the lockdown led to a mental health spiral that saw a ‘destructive’ pattern of anorexia ‘explode’ – draining all the ‘laughs and smiles’ from her life.
Now she’s sharing her story to help others learn more about the “often misunderstood mental health condition” and how to recognize signs of eating disorders in loved ones.
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“I have anorexia, which is due to a contribution of over-exercise and under-eating,” says Amy, from Bury, who cannot be further identified due to patient confidentiality.
“As my training and mobility, like walking to, from and around school, was taken away from me during the pandemic, I trained even more to try to compensate for not training ‘properly’ and I malnourished to a greater degree.
“The pandemic gave me a lot more time to think, so my mind was consumed with food because it had no other occupation.”
(Picture: PA)
An eating disorder, simply put, is disordered eating, Amy explains. And it doesn’t stop when meals are over.
“Your mind is driven by emotions, which causes unhealthy and destructive habits around food.
“Eating disorders are fueled by anxiety, unhealthy eating habits and obsession around food acting as a coping mechanism for anxiety.
“It’s not just something you struggle with at mealtime, you constantly struggle with it.”
The vicious circle led Amy and her family to a point where “all they could see was darkness”.
His world was not only devoid of taste and enjoyment of food, but also of laughter, smiles and his sense of self.
The young athlete was about to be hospitalized with anorexia, until she asked for help just in time.
After series of treatments, she was able to find the “real Amy”.
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“I started seeing Community Eating Disorders Service staff from the Child and Youth Mental Health Service (CAMHS) a year ago when my underlying eating disorder ‘blew up’ during lockdown” , she continues.
“My initial treatment focused on diet and restoring my weight, then I progressed slightly to weight maintenance and establishing a healthy relationship with food.
“It equipped me with the skills to prevent a relapse or regression in my recovery.
“The Eating Disorders Team has been incredibly helpful to me.
“Above all, they saved me from being hospitalized, but they also gave me and my family hope that it will be better when, at some point, all we might see, it is darkness.
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“They brought taste and pleasure back to my food, a smile on my face and a real belly laugh that I had forgotten I had. In the end, they helped me find the real Amy.
Amy sought help from her nearby community eating disorder service, run by Pennine Care NHS Foundation Trust.
Zoe Bradshaw, from the Trust’s Community Eating Disorders Team, shared her team’s five steps to caring for someone with an eating disorder:
“First, it’s important to talk to someone you trust and seek professional help,” says expert Zoe.
“Second, encourage regular eating – we encourage three meals and three snacks a day as well as liquids with every meal.
(Picture: Pennine Care NHS Foundation Trust)
“Third, treat each day as a fresh start – forget what happened the day before and focus on the new day ahead.
“Fourth, be kind to yourself – take time to relax.
“Finally, never compare the journey of your loved ones to that of others – they are on their own path.”
In a bid to bring attention to Eating Disorder Awareness Week, Amy is calling on all those struggling to seek help, assuring those in pain that there is “nothing be ashamed” and pointing out troubling “flawed” nutritional advice that can fester.
“For anyone struggling with food, please ask for help, as I know for a fact that I would not be in the much better position I am in today without the support of others, especially the staff at Pennine Care. .
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, you didn’t choose to have these struggles and overcoming your eating disorder may be the hardest and proudest thing you can achieve.
“I also think it’s important that people aren’t misinformed by some nutritional advice, a lot of it is wrong.
“Fats are not bad because the body and the brain need them to function – the brain is 60% fat.
“Only follow the nutritional advice of a qualified dietician and remember that your nutritional needs are not the same as anyone else’s.”
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